These jokes are extracted from an email my mom forwarded to me. It's kinda' weird that my mom would ever send me such emails...
1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run away from the naked lady?
Boy 2: B'cos my mom said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already.
2) NAMES OF 4 WIVES
4th Wife: Baby doll
3rd wife: China doll
2nd Wife: Barbie doll
1st Wife: Panadol
3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME (Sorry India, din't mean to make fun of your country)
This is how India got its name....
The King was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name for his country and his mistress asked him:
"Is it "IN DEAR"?"
4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because....
Every night men get Fresh Milk and 2 Papayas while
Women only get 1 Banana, 2 Peanuts and 1 teaspoon of Starch.
Sex is like a restaurant.
sometimes you'll get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you'll have to be satisfied with self-service.
6) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo,
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated,
Mistress on the cover of Playboy, and
Wife on the cover of MISSING PERSON.
Why was the 2 piece swimsuit invented?
To separate HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
8) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor.
Little Johnny: Cos it's the only perfession you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
Woman complaining to dentist: It's so painful. I'd rather have a baby than to have a tooth removed.
Dentist: Make up your mind soon. I'll have your seat adjust accordingly.
Old lady, 85, virgin, about to die, wanted her tombstone to be read as:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to:
11) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl.
On their first night, both were crying - WHY??
cos she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Some are lame though, just wanted you guys to laugh your Friday through. No deep thoughts. No hurtful feelings. JUST FOR LAUGHS AND DEFINITELY NO SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!!!